Why does it say in the marriage service that a wife must be subject to her husband? Isn’t this a little old fashioned?

“Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, His body, and is Himself its savior. As the Church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.” (Ephesians 5:22-24)

The above passages are among the most hated and misunderstood lines of scripture in the entire New Testament. Some men would like to lord these verses over their wives and demand that they fall down in subservience or complete obedience, while women read them and fear that they make the wife out to be inferior to her husband. As it stands neither interpretation is correct and I absolutely detest those who try to misquote them as if to their advantage.

God was not trying to establish the husband as some kind of supreme despot or dictator within the home. Nor was He relegating a wife to a place of servitude. The word, submit originally meant, “yielding to governance or order.” Therefore, a truly spiritual wife would understand God’s order within the home by recognizing that it as a reflection of God’s order in the church. Just as Jesus is the head of the church and we are to submit to His leadership, the husband has been given this responsibility within the household and a godly wife will adhere to this willingly and with humility, as was intended when God created Eve to be the ideal “helpmate” to her husband (Genesis 2:18).

On the other hand, the husband is never to demand submission from the wife. That would NOT be love, but forced servitude or slavery. A good wife must freely choose to be respectful, doing so lovingly and without reservations because she knows that a good/true husband is ready to die for his wife!

In addition, this submission we read of is to her “own husband” only! In other words, women are not subservient to men, nor were they created to be either. They are equals in every way, shape, and form; even within the home. Yet, God has imparted leadership to the husband and he is accountable for the household and will be judged for his actions
accordingly.

Remember that it is very easy to simply read verses 22-24 and interpret them out of context. However, when they are read sandwiched between verse 21 (“Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.”) and verse 25 (“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her.”), the real meaning becomes crystal clear and beyond debate!

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