The lower you descend, the higher you ascend; and when, like the psalmist, you regard yourself as nothing before the Lord (cf. Ps. 39:5), then imperceptibly you will grow great. And when you begin to realize that you have nothing and know nothing, then you will become rich in the Lord through the practice of the virtues and spiritual knowledge.
Pray that you may be granted the grace to read the Fathers with the right understanding, the grace to live up to the standards they put before you, and the grace clearly to see your own frailty. You will not long be left wanting and waiting. God will give you help.
And finally, did not the Lord Jesus Himself begin His divine ministry of the salvation of mankind with a long, forty day fast? And did not He, in this way, clearly show that we must make a serious beginning to our life as Christians with fasting? First, the fast, and then all the rest comes together with, and through, the fast. By His own example, the Lord showed us how great a weapon fasting is. With this weapon, He vanquished Satan in the wilderness, and with it was victorious over the three chief satanic passions with which Satan tempted Him: love of ease love of praise and love of money. These are three destructive greeds, the three greatest traps into which the evil enemy of the human race lures Christ's soldiers.
When Christ commanded: 'Love your neighbor,' He did not think as many do, that it is necessary that we love only the good and the righteous and healthy and good-looking, but also the bad and the unrighteous and sick and leprous, and the hunchbacked and the blind and crazy and unattractive and repulsive and disgusting...
He who believes in Christ is not judged, for he judges himself, and sets his feet aright to follow the light that goes before him. As a man in deep darkness adapts his step to the candle in his hand, so also he who believes in Christ; that is, he who is set to follow after Christ as the light in the darkness of life.
You describe how bitterly you regret the inefficacy of your prayers. Beware: to wish for consolation or revelation in prayer is a sure sign of pride. Pray humbly, in perfect simplicity, seeking salvation only through forgiveness, & having faith that God will extend to you His mercy - as He did to the publican.
When we are incapable of scaling the peaks of virtue, all we have to do is to descend into the ravine of humility. Our humility is our surest intercessor before the face of the Lord.
Christ is present in every part of the Church; that is, in every faithful member of it. Through Him, each of the faithful perceives the spiritual Kingdom, feels love and directs his steps aright towards God. From Him, every member receives strength, according to the 'effectual working and measure'; that is, by function and gift. The Lord gives this strength directly, by His personal presence. Love is a wonderful bond that binds Christ to the believer, the believer to Christ and the faithful to one another.
In the eyes of God, it is always preeminently right that a man should spend himself in devising new means for spreading consolation to his subordinates, who are his charges.
He who knows not the Son cannot know the Father. He who knows the Son knows the Father also. He who sees the Son sees the Father also. God cannot be known without His light, which came among men. The light of the Father is the Son. 'I am the light', said Christ. And the light shines in darkness. The physical world would be in total darkness if it were not for the light of the sun, and the spiritual and moral world, and all human life, would be in darkness if it were not for the light that is from the Father. And that light is Christ the Lord.
A brother was insulted by his friend, but, desiring peace with him, went to him to be reconciled. But the other would not open the door to him and, abusing him from within, drove him away from the house. The brother complained to a spiritual elder, who said to him: 'In going to make peace with your brother, you have, all along the way, condemned him in your thoughts and justified yourself. I advise you, if your friend sins against you, to order your thoughts as though it were you who had
sinned against him, and then go to him, justifying him and condemning yourself in your thoughts.' The brother did this, and what happened? As soon as he drew near to his brother's house, the latter opened the door wide, ran to him and embraced him, and peace was made between them.
