A treasure that is known is quickly spent: and even so any virtue that is commented on and made a public show of is destroyed. Even as wax is melted before the face of fire, so is the soul enfeebled by praise, and loses the toughness of its virtue.
You describe how bitterly you regret the inefficacy of your prayers. Beware: to wish for consolation or revelation in prayer is a sure sign of pride. Pray humbly, in perfect simplicity, seeking salvation only through forgiveness, & having faith that God will extend to you His mercy - as He did to the publican.
The belly when filled with all kinds of food gives birth to seeds of wantonness, nor can the mind, when choked with the weight of food, keep the guidance and government of the thoughts. For not only is drunkenness with wine wont to intoxicate the mind, but excess of all kinds of food makes it weak and uncertain, and robs it of all its power of pure and clear contemplation. The cause of the overthrow and wantonness of Sodom was not drunkenness through wine, but fullness of bread. Hear the Lord rebuking Jerusalem through the prophet. 'For how did thy sister Sodom sin, except in that she ate her bread in fullness and abundance?' (Ezek. xvi. 49)
Use your body, I beseech you, with moderation. Remember, with this body you will be raised from death when you come to be judged. Perhaps you have some doubt whether this could happen. If so, reflect in detail on what has already happened with your own self. Tell me, where were you a hundred years ago? Cannot the Creator who gave existence to a person that did not exist bring to life again to a person that did exist but is now dead? Every year He makes the corn spring to life that had withered and dies after it was sown. Do you suppose that He who raised Himself from the dead for our sake will have difficulty in raising us to new life? Or look at the trees. For a number of months they remain without fruit, even without leaves. But once the winter is past, they become green all over, new, as if risen from the dead. With better reason, and with greater ease shall we be called to new life. Do not listen to those who deny the resurrection of the body. Isaiah testifies: ‘The dead shall live again: the bodies of those who have died shall live.’ (Isa. 26:19) And according to the word of Daniel, ‘Many of those who sleep beneath the earth shall awaken, some to life eternal, the rest to eternal ruin.’ (Dan. 12:2)
He shall be known by his crimes of inhumanity and lawlessness, so as to outdo all unrighteous and ungodly men who have gone before him; displaying against all men, but especially against us Christians, a spirit murderous and most cruel, merciless and crafty.
Wherever we are and whatever our circumstances, the enemy always tries to prevent us from actively responding to the call. Pray for help. For help that you may never fail to respond. And beware lest, having received help and having done the right deed because of it, you should grow proud and acquire the habit of condemning others, in the secret chambers of your heart. Beware! For this would make all the fruits of your good works wither.
You are, I am sure, aware that for you penitence is now no longer limited to disclosing your sins to your confessor, but that you must now bear your sins in mind always, until your heart nearly breaks with their ugly load; and would break, were it not for your firm faith in the mercy of our Lord.
When God, using our conscience, calls us to righteousness and yet our self-will opposes Him, He respects our freedom and lets our own will be done; but then, alas, our minds grow dull, our will slack, and we commit iniquities without number. On the other hand, the fruits of the spirit are soon granted to them who follow the commandments of Christ our Lord.
The way of Godliness consists of these two things: True (pious) doctrines and good works. Without good works, true faith is not acceptable to God, likewise, good works are not acceptable to Him in the absence of True Faith (pious dogma).
Wherever we are and whatever our circumstances, the enemy always tries to prevent us from actively responding to the call. Pray for help. For help that you may never fail to respond. And beware lest, having received help and having done the right deed because of it, you should grow proud and acquire the habit of condemning others, in the secret chambers of your heart. Beware! For this would make all the fruits of your good works wither.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of our salvation, and its constant guardian. This it is which secures both the beginning of conversion, and the purging away of vices, and the safe retention of virtues...
Keeping the thought of God always present before you, this form of words for your devotions is ever to be put first: O God, make speed to save me; O Lord, make haste to help me. For this verse has, not undeservedly, been taken out of the whole of scripture for this purpose. It contains all the feelings that can come upon human nature; it is very rightly and properly suited for every situation and for every need that may come upon us. Indeed it contains a calling upon God against every danger, it has the humility of a good confession, the watchfulness of constant care and fear of God, it realizes the frailty of him who prays, exhibits confidence in an answer to the prayer, and trust in the Divine protection present and ever at hand. For he who ceases not to call upon his Protector is sure of His perpetual presence.
Pray simply. Do not expect to find in your heart any remarkable gift of prayer. Consider yourself unworthy of it. Then you will find peace. Use the empty cold dryness of your prayer as food for your humility. Repeat constantly: I am not worthy; Lord, I am not worthy! But say it calmly; without agitation.
If the soul is vigilant and withdraws from all distraction and abandons its own will, then the spirit of God invades it and it can conceive because it is free to do so.
Of the Only Case in Which Anger is Good... But we have a use for anger most properly planted within us, and for this use alone it is profitable and healthful for us to entertain it, namely, when we burn with wrathful indignation against the lustful motions of our own hearts, and are enraged to find that those things which we should be ashamed to do or to speak of before men have found admittance into the secret places of our minds. We may then well dread and fear exceedingly the presence of the Angels and the Omnipresence of God Himself, and His all-seeing Eye from which no secrets of our hearts can lie hid.