I had wasted much of my time and devoted almost all of my youth in acquiring knowledge which now appears as just foolishness before God. Then one day I awoke suddenly, as if from some deep sleep, and saw the intense light of divine truth, and realized the absolute worthlessness of all the wisdom taught by the leaders of this world. I wept many tears for the wretchedness of my life and prayed for some guidance to lead my life to faith. The first thing I did to reform my previous way of life was to mix with the poor...
Leaves, whether of gold or lead, placed over the eyes, obstruct the sight equally, for the value of gold does not affect the blindness it produces. Similarly, anger, whether reasonable or unreasonable, obstructs our spiritual vision.
Fasts and vigils, the study of Scripture, renouncing possessions and everything worldly are not in themselves perfection, as we have said; they are its tools. For perfection is not to be found in them; it is acquired through them. It is useless, therefore, to boast of our fasting, vigils, poverty, and reading of Scripture when we have not achieved the love of God and our fellow men. Whoever has achieved love has God within himself and his intellect is always with God.
Let us, therefore, not flinch from fighting the good fight on behalf of the truth, nor, in despair, fling away from labors we have already achieved. For the strength of the soul is not shown by one brave deed, nor yet by effort only for a short time; but He Who tests our hearts wishes us to win crowns of righteousness after long and protracted trial. Only let our spirit be kept unbroken, the firmness of our faith in Christ be maintained unshaken, and ere long our Champion will appear; He will come and will not tarry. Expect tribulation after tribulation, hope upon hope; yet a little while; yet a little while. Thus the Holy Ghost knows how to comfort His nurslings by a promise of the future. After tribulations comes hope, and what we are hoping for is not far off, for let a man name the whole of human life, it is but a tiny interval compared with the endless age which is laid up in our hopes.
A single word made the thief pure and holy, despite all his previous crimes, and brought him into paradise (cf. Luke 23:42-43). A single ill-advised word prevented Moses from entering the promised land (cf. Num. 20:12). We should not suppose, then, that garrulity is only a minor disease. Lovers of slander and gossip shut themselves out of the kingdom of heaven.
Keeping the thought of God always present before you, this form of words for your devotions is ever to be put first: O God, make speed to save me; O Lord, make haste to help me. For this verse has, not undeservedly, been taken out of the whole of scripture for this purpose. It contains all the feelings that can come upon human nature; it is very rightly and properly suited for every situation and for every need that may come upon us. Indeed it contains a calling upon God against every danger, it has the humility of a good confession, the watchfulness of constant care and fear of God, it realizes the frailty of him who prays, exhibits confidence in an answer to the prayer, and trust in the Divine protection present and ever at hand. For he who ceases not to call upon his Protector is sure of His perpetual presence.
You can see that a city is prosperous by the wealth of goods for sale in the market. Land too we call prosperous if it bears rich fruit. And so also the soul may be counted prosperous if it is full of good works of every kind. But first of all it has to be farmed energetically. Then it must be watered by abundant streams of heavenly grace for it to bring forth fruit, some thirty fold, some sixty fold, and some a hundred fold. The soul only acquires goodness and the capacity of fulfilling its duties if it has the grace of God On the other hand, what is uglier or more disgusting than a soul given over to base passions? Look at the hot-headed person: he is like a wild beast. Consider the slave of lust or gluttony: who can bear the sight of him? Pity the victim of melancholy whose spirit is totally prostrated. It is for us to seek to acquire beauty so that the Bridegroom, the Lord, may welcome us into his presence and say, “You are utterly fair, my love, and there is no flaw in you.” (Song of Sol 4:7)
For never is a man forced into sin by another’s fault, unless he have, stowed away in his heart, matter for evil deeds. Nor is a man to be held a victim of sudden deception if at the sight of a woman’s beauty he fall into an abyss of vile lust. Rather is it that diseases of soul, deeply hidden away and lost to view, come then to the surface on the occasion of the sight.
We should indeed be the strangest people if we were to find any pleasure in the schisms and divisions that beset the Church, and if we did not consider it as the greatest achievement to see the scattered limbs of Christ reassembled once more. Our desire to achieve this is as strong as the knowledge of our weakness to do so.
Be slow and dull to idle talk, but knowing and wise in hearkening to the saving words of the Holy Scriptures. Let the hearing of worldly tales be to you as a bitter taste in your mouth, but the discourse of holy men as a honeycomb (Prov. 16.24). Be eager to imitate men of disciplined habits and do not wait to be taught each thing. Strive to attain to the greater virtues, but do not neglect the lesser ones. Do not make light of a fall even if it be the most venial of faults; rather, be quick to repair it by repentance, although many others may commit a large number of faults, slight and grievous, and remain unrepentant. Judge not the sins of others, for they have a just Judge ‘Who will render every man according to his works’ (Rom. 2.6); but be master of what is your own and lighten your own burden insofar as you have the power, for he who increases his own burden will also carry it. In repentance is salvation, but folly is the death of repentance.
Sometimes, when we are overcome by pride or impatience and are unwilling to amend our ill-conditioned and disordered way of life, we complain that what we need is solitude, as though in solitude, meeting with no provocation, we should find there the virtue of patience, making excuses for our slackness, and laying the blame of our agitation not upon our own lack of patience, but ascribing it to the faults of our brethren, whereas so long as we impute to others the causes of our own faults, we shall never be able to reach the goal of patience and of perfection.
Of the teachings and proclamations preserved in the Church, some we possess from written teaching, while others we have received in secret from the Tradition of the Apostles; these both have the same validity [ie. authority] for true religion. And no one will deny these points, at least if he is even moderately experienced in Church [matters].
'Then the devil left Him, and angels came and ministered to Him' (Matthew 4:11). It does not say that the angels were with our Lord during the actual time when He was being tempted. In the same way, when we are being tempted, God's angels for a time withdraw a little. Then, after the departure of those tempting us, they come and minister to us with divine intellections, giving us support, illumination, compunction, encouragement, patient endurance, joyfulness, and everything that saves and strengthens and renews our exhausted soul. As Nathaniel was told, 'You will see the angels ascending and descending upon the Son of man' (John 1:51); in other words, the ministry and assistance of the angels will be given generously to mankind.
How are we to come to this saving humility, leaving behind us the deadly swelling of arrogance? By exercising ourselves in it in all things, and by keeping in mind that there is nothing which cannot be a danger to us. For the soul becomes like the things it gives itself to; and takes the character and appearance of what it does. Let your demeanor, your dress, your walking, your sitting down, the nature of your food, the quality of your bed, your house and what it contains aim at simplicity. And let your speech, your singing, your manner with your neighbor, let these things also be more in accord with humility than with vanity. In your words let there be no empty pretence, in your singing no excessive sweetness, in conversation be not ponderous or overbearing. In everything refrain from seeking to appear important. Be a help to your friends, kind to the ones who live with you, gentle to your servant, patient with those who are troublesome, loving towards the lowly, comforting to those in trouble, visiting those in affliction, never despising anyone, gracious in friendship, cheerful in answering others, courteous, approachable to everyone, never speaking your own praises, nor getting others to speak them, never taking part in unbecoming conversation, and concealing where you may whatever gifts you possess.
Solitude offers us an excellent opportunity for calming our passions and giving our reason time to remove them thoroughly from our soul. For just as wild animals can be soothed by being stroked, so all our anger, fear and stress, which poison and disrupt our soul, can be soothed by an atmosphere of peace where the freedom from constant disturbance ensures that our soul can be brought more easily under the power of reason.
