And finally, did not the Lord Jesus Himself begin His divine ministry of the salvation of mankind with a long, forty day fast? And did not He, in this way, clearly show that we must make a serious beginning to our life as Christians with fasting? First, the fast, and then all the rest comes together with, and through, the fast. By His own example, the Lord showed us how great a weapon fasting is. With this weapon, He vanquished Satan in the wilderness, and with it was victorious over the three chief satanic passions with which Satan tempted Him: love of ease love of praise and love of money. These are three destructive greeds, the three greatest traps into which the evil enemy of the human race lures Christ's soldiers.
Pray simply. Do not expect to find in your heart any remarkable gift of prayer. Consider yourself unworthy of it. Then you will find peace. Use the empty cold dryness of your prayer as food for your humility. Repeat constantly: I am not worthy; Lord, I am not worthy! But say it calmly; without agitation.
Bear this in mind: the Christian life is an unending spiritual fight. The wily enemy cleverly uses snares and arrows without number. Before some of us he spreads the lure of worldliness, the outer pride of pomp and circumstance, the cruder lusts-the lusts of the flesh. But those of us who are not attracted by any of this he leads up on to the peaks of subtler prides. Having got us there-to the high country of self-esteem-he causes a dark mist, the mist of the subtlest prides, to enshroud our intellect. Then he leads us, his blinded slaves, away from God, without our even suspecting it. Mark this too: it is not very hard for the simple sinner to come to hate his foul life and, leaving it, to fling himself on the mercy of God; but it is very hard for the subtler sinner-the self-sufficient one-to let a ray of divine love pierce the leather jacket of his self-righteousness... Humility is the only weapon that wards off all attacks, but it is difficult to fashion, and the art of using it is often misunderstood, particularly by those who lead an active, worldly life.
If a man only theorises about God, then he is helpless, utterly helpless, when confronted by an evil spirit. An evil spirit laughs at feeble worldly theorising. But as soon as a man begins to fast and to pray to God, the evil spirit becomes filled with inexpressible fear.
You describe how bitterly you regret the inefficacy of your prayers. Beware: to wish for consolation or revelation in prayer is a sure sign of pride. Pray humbly, in perfect simplicity, seeking salvation only through forgiveness, & having faith that God will extend to you His mercy - as He did to the publican.
While you are on earth, regard yourself as a guest of the Host, that is, of Christ. If you are at table, He honors you thus. If you breathe the air, you breathe His air. If you bathe, you bathe in His water. If you travel, you travel around His earth. If you accumulate goods, you accumulate what is His; if you squander them, you squander what is His. If you are influential, you are so by His permission. If you are in company with others, you are with His other guests. If you are in the countryside, you are in His garden. If you are alone, He is present. If you set off anywhere, He sees you. If you do anything, He has it in mind. He is the most careful Host whose guest you have ever been. And be, in your turn, careful towards Him. A good host merits a good guest. These are all simple words, but they speak a great truth to you. All the saints knew this truth, and ordered their lives accordingly. Therefore the immortal Host rewarded them with eternal life in heaven and with glory on earth.
He who knows not the Son cannot know the Father. He who knows the Son knows the Father also. He who sees the Son sees the Father also. God cannot be known without His light, which came among men. The light of the Father is the Son. 'I am the light', said Christ. And the light shines in darkness. The physical world would be in total darkness if it were not for the light of the sun, and the spiritual and moral world, and all human life, would be in darkness if it were not for the light that is from the Father. And that light is Christ the Lord.
It is impossible to look to heaven with one eye and to the earth with another. Likewise, it is impossible for our soul to cling at once to earthly and to heavenly things. We must select one or the other and cling to it...
'God does not create crosses for people ie cleansing spiritual and physical sufferings. And however heavy that cross may be for that individual, the tree that produces its timber grows from the soil of his heart.' The Starets also said: 'If a person walks a straight path, for him there is no cross. However, when he starts to lurch from one side to the other, then different circumstances appear which push him back onto the right track. These elements constitute a cross for a person. Of course they occur differently, according to the individual’s need.' 'Sometimes The cross is a mental one, confusing the individual with sinful thoughts. But the person is not at fault if he doesn’t accede to them. The Starets cited an example: ‘ Once a female ascetic was agitated for a long period over having unchaste thoughts. When Christ appeared and drove them away from her, she cried out to Him: ‘Sweet Jesus, where were You up to this time?’ Christ replied: ‘I was in your heart.’ She said: ‘How can that be? But my heart was filled with unchaste thoughts.’ And Christ said to her: ‘Therefore understand that I was in your heart, and that you had no disposition toward those unclean thoughts but more so, endeavored to liberate yourself from them. Not being able to do so, you suffered over them, thereby preparing a place for me in your heart.’ 'Sometimes, suffering is sent to an innocent person, so that he, as with the example of Christ, suffers for others. Christ Himself suffered for people. Likewise, His Apostles were tortured for the Church and people. To have absolute love means to suffer for your close ones.'
A brother was insulted by his friend, but, desiring peace with him, went to him to be reconciled. But the other would not open the door to him and, abusing him from within, drove him away from the house. The brother complained to a spiritual elder, who said to him: 'In going to make peace with your brother, you have, all along the way, condemned him in your thoughts and justified yourself. I advise you, if your friend sins against you, to order your thoughts as though it were you who had
sinned against him, and then go to him, justifying him and condemning yourself in your thoughts.' The brother did this, and what happened? As soon as he drew near to his brother's house, the latter opened the door wide, ran to him and embraced him, and peace was made between them.
The most important thing during illness is to offer to God patience and thanksgiving for His merciful visitations. Sickness purifies sins and gives one time to meditate on the past.
Keep your conscience keen and bright, and refrain from hankering after, or expecting, consolation. Leave that to God. He knows when, where, and how to give it to you.
You are, I am sure, aware that for you penitence is now no longer limited to disclosing your sins to your confessor, but that you must now bear your sins in mind always, until your heart nearly breaks with their ugly load; and would break, were it not for your firm faith in the mercy of our Lord.
Your past and present torments and sufferings are poured down upon you to test your faith and 'steel' it; they also work to curb your lusts and passions. Humble yourself. God gives help to the humble. Judgment of others, insistence on their shortcomings, can only increase the bitterness of your sorrow. Choose the better part.
A monk is he who wants to sleep and does not sleep, who wants to eat and does not eat, who wants to drink and does not drink. A monk is distinguished by ‘continual forcing of nature.’
The joint prayer of husband and wife is a great force. That may be one of the reasons why the enemy is trying to get both of you to break this excellent habit. [This is] one more temptation which God permits so that you should learn to overcome it and come out of the testing stronger than before!
