Therefore, let us force ourselves. Let us make a beginning and let us desire the good with all our heart. Because, even if we are not perfect, wanting to be, is the beginning of our salvation. From wanting we come, with God’s help, to struggling and from struggling one is helped in acquiring the virtues. This is why one of the fathers says, 'Give blood and receive spirit,' that is to say, 'Struggle and you will become accustomed to virtue.'
Those who want to be saved scrutinize not the shortcomings of their neighbor but always their own and they set about eliminating them. Such was the man who saw his brother doing wrong and groaned, `Woe is me; him today-me tomorrow!' You see his caution? You see the preparedness of his mind? How he swiftly foresaw how to avoid judging his brother? When he said `me tomorrow' he aroused his fear of sinning, and by this he increased his caution about avoiding those sins which he was likely to commit, and so he escaped judging his neighbor; and he did not stop at this, but put himself below his brother, saying, `He has repented for his sin but I do not always repent. I am never first to ask for forgiveness and I am never completely converted.'
A person lighting a fire first has a small piece of tinder. This represents the word of the brother who has upset him. This little fire is very feeble. What significance has the word of your brother? If you put up with it you blow out the small fire, but if you begin to think to yourself, 'Why did he say that to me? I myself can answer him. If he did not want to hurt me, he wouldn't have said that and believe me, I can upset him too.' In this case, you add small pieces of wood to the fire and some other fuel like the person that lights a fire and you produce smoke which is agitation. Agitation is the movement and coming together of thoughts which stimulate the heart and make it audacious. Audacity is the taking of retribution against the person that has upset you, and this becomes insolence as Abba Mark said, 'Evil accepted in thought makes the heart audacious, but when this is revoked through prayer and hope, it makes it contrite.'
In every circumstance we must look upwards. Whether someone does good to us or we suffer harm from anyone, we must look upwards and thank God for all that befalls us, always reproaching ourselves and regarding all the good that happens to us as the work of God's merciful providence, and all the bad as the result of our own sins.
When your brother is disturbed and reacts to what you say to him, control your tongue lest you speak even one word in wrath and do not allow yourself to be arrogant concerning him in your heart but remember that he is your brother, a member of Christ and an image of God, influenced by the common enemy. Be merciful and show pity on him because it is possible that the devil through your wrath, will capture his soul and mortify it in resentment and thus, through your carelessness, the soul for whom Christ died is lost (1 Cor. 5:11).
In truth, whatever we may suffer, we suffer it because of our sins. If the saints suffered, they suffered for God's name or to demonstrate their virtue for the benefit of many or to gain greater reward from God. As for us wretches, how can we say this? We sin like this daily and in seeking to satisfy our passion, we abandoned the right path, which the Fathers spoke about, that of self-accusation. Each one of us follows the wrong path, tries on every occasion to put the case against his brother and throw the burden of responsibility upon him. Each one of us is negligent and keeps nothing, but demands that our neighbor keeps the commandments.
If a man has a friend and he is absolutely certain that his friend loves him, and if that friend does something to cause him suffering and be troublesome to him, he will be convinced that his friend acts out of love and he will never believe that his friend does it to harm him. How much more ought we to be convinced about God who created us, who drew us out of nothingness to existence and life, and who became a man for our sake and died for us, and who does everything out of love for us?
He who prays with the lips, but neglects his soul and does not guard his heart, prays to the air and not to God; and he labors in vain, because God attends to the mind and fervor, and not to prolixity. One should pray with all one’s fervor, with one’s soul and mind & heart, with the fear of God, and with all one’s strength.
Let us strive with all of our power never to put our trust in our own conjectures. For nothing separates us so completely from God or prevents us from noticing our own wrong doing or makes us busy about what does not concern us, as this. No good comes from it but only troubles without number and they leave us no time to acquire the fear of God. Should worthless suspicions germinate in our minds, let us turn them into charitable thoughts and they will not harm us. For entertaining suspicions is wrong and it never allows the mind to be at peace.
When a passion arises, when it is young and feeble, cut it off, lest it stiffen and cause you a great deal of trouble. It is one thing to pluck out a small weed and quite another thing to uproot a great tree.
For everyone who prays to God, ‘Lord, give me humility’ ought to know what he is asking for, viz. that God send him someone to mistreat him. And when he is insulted by someone, he ought to disparage himself and despise his own opinion so that when the other man humiliates him outwardly, he too humiliates himself inwardly.
I have heard about a certain brother that when he was visiting one brother if he saw his cell untidy and neglected, he would say to himself, 'This brother is blessed because he has achieved freedom from care about all these earthly things. So, he has lifted up his entire nous to God so that he does not interrupt his spiritual work to put his cell in order.' If he afterwards went to another brother and saw his cell tidy, clean and in good order, he would say to himself, 'As this brother’s soul is clean, so also is his cell. The state of his cell corresponds with the state of his soul.' He never said about anybody that he is slovenly or vainglorious. Since he himself was in a good spiritual state, he drew profit from each case. May God grant us a good spiritual state so that we also can be profited and never think anything evil about our neighbor. Even if sometimes it happens that we think or suspect something bad about our brother, let us immediately transform our thought into a good one. The not seeing the evil of the neighbor, produces, with God’s help, goodness.
Believe that dishonors and reproaches are medicines that heal the pride of thy soul, and pray for those who reproach thee, as for true physicians of thy soul, being assured that he who hates dishonor, hates humility, and he who avoids those who grieve him, flees from meekness.
Therefore, let us force ourselves. Let us make a beginning and let us desire the good with all our heart. Because, even if we are not perfect, wanting to be, is the beginning of our salvation. From wanting we come, with God’s help, to struggling and from struggling one is helped in acquiring the virtues. This is why one of the fathers says, 'Give blood and receive spirit', that is to say, 'Struggle and you will become accustomed to virtue.'
