Christ is present in every part of the Church; that is, in every faithful member of it. Through Him, each of the faithful perceives the spiritual Kingdom, feels love and directs his steps aright towards God. From Him, every member receives strength, according to the ‘effectual working and measure’; that is, by function and gift. The Lord gives this strength directly, by His personal presence. Love is a wonderful bond that binds Christ to the believer, the believer to Christ and the faithful to one another.
And Jesus, when He was baptised, went up straightway out of the water; and lo, the heavens were opened unto Him, and He saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon Him; and lo, a voice from heaven saying: 'This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.' The Spirit did not descend on Christ while He was down in the water, but when He came out of it. By this, the wisdom of God seeks to show us that the Spirit of God does not descend on the old man, who is alive to sin and dead to God, but only on the man spiritually re-born, who has died to sin and come alive to God.
The enemy constantly endeavors to awaken in the abyss of the human heart a great turmoil about trifles. This is one of his tricks to blind our soul to the sun of truth, Christ our Lord, hidden in the heart's core of every one of our neighbors.
Not one of us can boast of having acquired humility: our actions, the whole of our life, prove the contrary. And where there is a lack of humility, pride is always present. Where light is wanting, darkness reigns.
Your past and present torments and sufferings are poured down upon you to test your faith and 'steel' it; they also work to curb your lusts and passions. Humble yourself. God gives help to the humble. Judgment of others, insistence on their shortcomings, can only increase the bitterness of your sorrow. Choose the better part.
In answer to your question as to what constitutes a happy life, whether splendor, fame and wealth, or a quiet, peaceful, family life, I will say that I agree with the latter, but will add the following: A life lived in humility and with an irreproachable conscience brings peace, tranquility, and true happiness. But wealth, honor, glory and exalted position often serve as the cause of a multitude of sins, and such happiness is not one on which to rely.
God smiles on the compassionate heart. Every time a beggar knocks at your door, try to perceive Christ Himself under the humble disguise. Would you, under any circumstances, let Christ knock in vain? The moral qualities of the individual beggar have nothing to do with it; that is Christ's concern, not yours. Who are you to judge your brother? Christ is using the beggar’s hand and mouth to test your compassion of Himself. Will you fail Him?
The saints’ freedom from envy is a wonderful phenomenon. The saints not only did not allow envy to conquer their hearts, but exerted themselves greatly to ensure that their friends be exalted and they themselves debased.
Let us be sure, then, that God will not give spiritual gifts - the gifts of understanding, of faith, of love, of purity, of prophecy, of working wonders, of power over demons, of insight, of sight of the heavenly world, to him who has gambled with and made evil use, like the Prodigal Son, of the gifts of bodily health, honor, wealth, success among men or knowledge of this material world, or some other skill or capacity.
Bodily purity is primarily attained through fasting, and through bodily purity comes spiritual purity. Abstinence from food, according to the words of that son of grace, St. Ephraim the Syrian, means: 'Not to desire or demand much food, either sweet or costly; to eat nothing outside the stated times; not to give oneself over to gratification of the appetite; not to stir up hunger in oneself by looking at good food; and not to desire one or another sort of food.
If the humbling of oneself before men is needful that one might be exalted before God, and temporal toil is the prerequisite of immortal life, what does it matter if some shake their heads and laugh at your self-abasement?
You describe how bitterly you regret the inefficacy of your prayers. Beware: to wish for consolation or revelation in prayer is a sure sign of pride. Pray humbly, in perfect simplicity, seeking salvation only through forgiveness, & having faith that God will extend to you His mercy - as He did to the publican.
You are, I am sure, aware that for you penitence is now no longer limited to disclosing your sins to your confessor, but that you must now bear your sins in mind always, until your heart nearly breaks with their ugly load; and would break, were it not for your firm faith in the mercy of our Lord.
