Dearly beloved, had marriage or the raising of children been likely to prove a stumbling block on the way to virtue, the Creator of all would not have introduced marriage into our life lest it prove our undoing in difficult times and through severe problems. Since, however, family life not only offers us no obstacle to wisdom in God's eyes as long as we are prepared to be on our guard, but even brings us much encouragement and calms the tumult of our natural tendencies, not allowing the billows to surge but constantly ensuring that the ship dock safely in the harbor, consequently He granted the human race the consolation that comes from this source...
Let us therefore show honor and respect, not alone to those that are older than us, but also our equals. For it is no humility to do what you ought to do, or are compelled to do: that is not humility, but duty. It is true humility to give way to those who are seen to be less than us. And if we are truly wise, we shall consider no one as less than ourselves, but all men as our superiors.
Let each one consider within himself what faults he must remedy in himself, what good work he may yet do, what sin he may wipe out from his soul, so that by this he may become better. And if he finds that he has made progress in this excellent market, through fasting, and is aware that there is need for much care for his wounds, then let him draw near. If however he remains neglectful of himself, and has only his fasting to show, and makes no progress in other directions, then let him remain outside, and let him return only when all his sins are cleansed.
And just as material fire, applied to the soft clay, changes it to hard pottery, so the fire of the Holy Spirit, when it penetrates our soul, though it should find it softer than the clay, yet it will make it more unyielding than iron. And the soul that a little while ago was stained with the mire of sin, is all at once more splendid than the sun.
What does it mean to be as wise as a serpent? When a serpent is attacked, it is willing to have much of its body severed, as long as it saves the head. So to be wise as a serpent means to be willing to lose everything - your wealth, your reputation, your friends - as long as you save your faith. Your faith is your head, by which you learn all truth; and by that truth your soul is set free. We should, however, recognize that the wisdom of the serpent is not enough; we must be honest and innocent as doves. Indeed it is the combination of wisdom and innocence that creates virtue. The person who is wise as a serpent can sustain the most terrible attacks and still continue to flourish as a disciple of Christ. The person who is innocent refuses to retaliate against those who make the attacks. To be as innocent as a dove means never to take revenge on those who wrong you or undermine you. Unless wisdom is tempered by innocence, one attack provokes another, and conflict continues without end. Unless innocence is tempered by wisdom, a person is so vulnerable that he will not even survive a single attack. Rest assured that no one can ever take away your faith; your wisdom guards against that. But be careful never to bear a grudge against anyone who does you wrong.
Therefore with your whole soul you should acknowledge yourself as worthy of enduring more than you already endure; remember the words which Christ the Savior spoke concerning a good deed done to one's neighbor, words which should apply equally to every offensive word or deed against one's neighbor. Whatever you have done to your neighbor, He says, you have done to Me.
Inasmuch then as our Master knew that if He carved out only one road for us, many must shrink from it, He carved out divers roads. You cannot enter the kingdom by the way of virginity? Enter it then by the way of single marriage. You cannot not enter it by one marriage? By chance you may by means of a second marriage. You cannot enter by the way of continence: enter then by the way of almsgiving: or you cannot enter by the way of almsgiving? Then try the way of fasting. If you cannot use this way, take that--or if not that, then take this.
When an archer desires to shoot his arrows successfully, he first takes great pains over his posture and aligns himself accurately with his mark. It should be the same for you who are about to shoot the head of the wicked devil. Let us be concerned first for the good order of sensations and then for the good posture of inner thoughts.
Even if we have innumerable virtues, the plague of vainglory is capable of destroying them all. If, then, we desire praises let us seek those which come from God.
A house is a little church... let your prayers be common. Let each go to Church; and let the husband ask his wife at home, and she again ask her husband, the account of the things which were said and read there... Teach her that there is nothing in life that is to be feared, save only offending against God. If any marry thus, with these views, he will be but little inferior to monks.
Labor to acquire meekness. Concerning the heavenly virtues, meekness and humility, the Lord Himself teaches us, saying: Learn of Me, for I am meek and humble in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls (Matt. 11:29). Learn not from angels, nor from men, but from Me, He says; that is, from the higher wisdom.
Husbands, never call her simply by her name, but with terms of endearment, with honor, with much love. Honor her, and she will not need honor from others; she will not want the glory that comes from others, if she enjoys that which comes from thee. Prefer her before all, on every account, both for her beauty and her discernment, and praise her.
It is essential to summon the priests to confirm with prayers and blessings the couple in their life together, so that the groom’s love might intensify, the bride’s chastity of mind be strengthened, everything work to ensure that the virtues settle into their home, the machinations of the devil be scattered, and that the couple, united through God’s help, might spend their life in joy.
Let us consider one another, but not so as to cause rivalry between one another, but provoking one another unto charity. What is the meaning of, to provoke unto charity? Unto loving each other more and more.
For, just as it is good to recall ones sins, so it is also good to forget ones good deeds. Why is this? Because remembrance of our good deeds puffs us up with arrogance, whereas remembrance of our sins curbs and humbles our mind; the former makes us more sluggish, but the latter makes us more diligent. Indeed, those who do not think that they have anything good become more eager to acquire what is good, whereas those who reckon that they have stored up a great deal of merchandise, confident they have an abundance of this, do not display much zeal for obtaining more of it.
