A great effort and much toil are needed in prayer before we can reach a state in which our mind is no longer troubled, and so attain the inward heaven of the heart where Christ dwells. As St. Paul says, 'Do you not realize that Christ dwells within you, unless you are worthless?' (cf. 2 Cor. 13:5).
A wise elder gives the following advice to monks and youth alike: 'Avoid eating foods which are to your liking, but, preferably, eat the simplest foods, and be thankful to God, Who also sends you these.'
Therefore, let us force ourselves. Let us make a beginning and let us desire the good with all our heart. Because, even if we are not perfect, wanting to be, is the beginning of our salvation. From wanting we come, with God’s help, to struggling and from struggling one is helped in acquiring the virtues. This is why one of the fathers says, 'Give blood and receive spirit', that is to say, 'Struggle and you will become accustomed to virtue.'
No one can say, 'I am poor and hence I have no means of giving alms.' For even if you cannot give as the rich gave their gifts into the temple treasury, give two farthings as the poor widow did, and from you God will consider it greater gift than the gifts of the rich. And if you do not have as much as two farthings? You can take pity on the sick and give alms by ministering to them. And if you cannot do even this? You can comfort your brother by your words. 'A good word is better than the best of gifts.'
We came from Palestine to Egypt and went to see one of the fathers. He offered us hospitality and we said, 'Why do you not keep the fast when visitors come to see you? In Palestine they keep it.' He replied, 'Fasting is always with me but I cannot always have you here. It is useful and necessary to fast, but we choose whether we will fast or not. What God commands is perfect love. I receive Christ in you and so I must do everything possible to serve you with love. When I have sent you on your way, then I can continue my rule of fasting. The sons of the bridegroom cannot fast while the bridegroom is with them; when he is taken away from them, then they will fast.'
We must not only keep a sharp watch over our diet, but keep away from all other kinds of sin so that as our stomach keeps fast, so also may our tongue as we abstain from calumny, from deceit, from idle talk, from railing and anger and all other vices which arise from the tongue. So also let our eyes keep fast. No looking for trivialities, no letting the eyes wander freely, no impudent lying in wait for people to talk to. The same with the hands and feet, to prevent them from doing anything evil. Fasting in this way, as St. Basil says, is an acceptable fast and, leaving behind all the evil to which our senses are inclined, we may come to the holy day of Resurrection, renewed and clean and worthy to share in the Holy Mysteries.
It is up to us now to either bury our conscience under the ground, or to have it shine forth and illuminate us if we obey it. When our conscience says to us, 'Do this,' and we treat it with contempt, or it says it again and we refuse, then we are trampling it down, burying it under ground. Thus, it cannot speak to us clearly because of the weight upon it.
A holy elder, seeing with his own eyes a certain brother fall into deep sin, not only did not judge him, but wept and said: 'He fell today; without doubt I will fall tomorrow. But he certainly will repent, whereas for myself, I am not so sure of this.'
If a man has a friend and he is absolutely certain that his friend loves him, and if that friend does something to cause him suffering and be troublesome to him, he will be convinced that his friend acts out of love and he will never believe that his friend does it to harm him. How much more ought we to be convinced about God who created us, who drew us out of nothingness to existence and life, and who became a man for our sake and died for us, and who does everything out of love for us?
I have heard about a certain brother that when he was visiting one brother if he saw his cell untidy and neglected, he would say to himself, 'This brother is blessed because he has achieved freedom from care about all these earthly things. So, he has lifted up his entire nous to God so that he does not interrupt his spiritual work to put his cell in order.' If he afterwards went to another brother and saw his cell tidy, clean and in good order, he would say to himself, 'As this brother’s soul is clean, so also is his cell. The state of his cell corresponds with the state of his soul.' He never said about anybody that he is slovenly or vainglorious. Since he himself was in a good spiritual state, he drew profit from each case. May God grant us a good spiritual state so that we also can be profited and never think anything evil about our neighbor. Even if sometimes it happens that we think or suspect something bad about our brother, let us immediately transform our thought into a good one. The not seeing the evil of the neighbor, produces, with God’s help, goodness.
It was said of Abba John the Dwarf that he withdrew and lived in the desert at Scetis with an old man of Thebes. His abba, taking a piece of dry wood, planted it and said to him, 'Water it every day with a bottle of water, until it bears fruit.' Now the water was so far away that he had to leave in the evening and return the following morning. At the end of three years the wood came to life and bore fruit. The old man took some of the fruit and carried it to the church saying to the brethren, 'Take and eat the fruit of obedience.'
BROTHER: What are fasting and prayer? OLD MAN: Fasting is the subjugation of the body, prayer is converse with God, vigil is a war against Satan, abstinence is being weaned from meats, humility is the state of the first man, kneeling is the inclining of the body before the Judge, tears are the remembrance of sins, nakedness is our captivity which is caused by the transgression of the command, and service is constant supplication to and praise of God. BROTHER: Are these able to redeem the soul? OLD MAN: When internal things agree with external, and manifest humility appears in the hidden works which are from within, verily, a man shall be redeemed from the weight of the body.
A certain brother asked the Abbot Poemen, saying, 'What am I to do, Father, for I am troubled in sadness?' The old man said to him, 'Look to no man for aught, condemn no man, disparage no man: and God shall give thee rest.'
If you refuse to accept suffering and dishonor, do not claim to be in a state of repentance because of your other virtues. For self-esteem and insensitivity can serve sin even under the cover of virtue.
