The way to attain compunction is an attentive life. ‘The beginning of repentance comes from the fear of God and attention,’ as the holy martyr Boniface says.
A certain priest, an unfortunate man who had no knowledge of divine experience like that of St. Silouan, said to another person, 'I wonder why they go to him, he does not read anything.' The other replied, 'He does not read anything, but he practices everything, unlike those who read a lot but do not do a thing.'
A righteous person who is wise resembles God: he never disciplines anyone in order to take vengeance upon a wrongdoing, but only so that the person may be set aright, or that others may be deterred.
I always sought out the Divine Writings, above all, the laws of God and their explanation of them by the Fathers, and the apostolic traditions, then the lives and the teachings of the Holy Fathers, and I gave my whole attention to these and so gradually learned. In them I lived and breathed...and if there was something to do to improve myself, and if I did not find it immediately in the Holy Writings, I laid it aside until I could find some teaching on this point.
Pray that you may be granted the grace to read the Fathers with the right understanding, the grace to live up to the standards they put before you, and the grace clearly to see your own frailty. You will not long be left wanting and waiting. God will give you help.
The moral character and moral value of man's personality depends most of all on the direction and strength of the will. Of course, everyone understands that for a Christian it is necessary to have first, a strong and decisive will, and second, a will which is firmly directed toward the good of his neighbor, toward the side of good and not evil. How is one to develop a strong will? The answer is simple: above all through the exercise of the will. To do this, as with bodily exercise, it is necessary to begin slowly, little by little. However, having begun to exercise one's will in anything ( e.g., in a constant struggle with one's sinful habits or whims) this work on oneself must never cease. Moreover, a Christian who wishes to strengthen his will, his character, must from the very beginning avoid all dissipation, disorder and inconsistency of behavior. Otherwise, he will be a person without character, unreliable, a reed shaking in the wind, as we read in Holy Scripture.
One must endeavor to read through the writings of the Fathers, and strive as much as possible, according to one’s strength, to fulfill what they teach, and in this fashion, little by little ascend from the ascetic life to the perfection of the contemplative.
No one can be saved without the renunciation of his will, even though he might struggle fervently, for our will and our manner are like a bronze wall between us and God.
We came from Palestine to Egypt and went to see one of the fathers. He offered us hospitality and we said, 'Why do you not keep the fast when visitors come to see you? In Palestine they keep it.' He replied, 'Fasting is always with me but I cannot always have you here. It is useful and necessary to fast, but we choose whether we will fast or not. What God commands is perfect love. I receive Christ in you and so I must do everything possible to serve you with love. When I have sent you on your way, then I can continue my rule of fasting. The sons of the bridegroom cannot fast while the bridegroom is with them; when he is taken away from them, then they will fast.'
