Let us avail ourselves of the example of that holy staretz who used to say: 'Depart, evil one; come, beloved!' Once a brother who overheard his words and supposed that the staretz was speaking to another man asked him 'With whom are you conversing, father?' And the staretz answered: 'I am driving away evil thoughts and calling the good ones to my side.' And so, if we are tempted, let us use the words of that staretz, or others like them.
A person lighting a fire first has a small piece of tinder. This represents the word of the brother who has upset him. This little fire is very feeble. What significance has the word of your brother? If you put up with it you blow out the small fire, but if you begin to think to yourself, 'Why did he say that to me? I myself can answer him. If he did not want to hurt me, he wouldn't have said that and believe me, I can upset him too.' In this case, you add small pieces of wood to the fire and some other fuel like the person that lights a fire and you produce smoke which is agitation. Agitation is the movement and coming together of thoughts which stimulate the heart and make it audacious. Audacity is the taking of retribution against the person that has upset you, and this becomes insolence as Abba Mark said, 'Evil accepted in thought makes the heart audacious, but when this is revoked through prayer and hope, it makes it contrite.'
An elderly monk said, 'Always, when you are tempted to criticize, you should put a question mark on the whole situation and not judge. For we do not know what is really going on.'
A certain priest, an unfortunate man who had no knowledge of divine experience like that of St. Silouan, said to another person, 'I wonder why they go to him, he does not read anything.' The other replied, 'He does not read anything, but he practices everything, unlike those who read a lot but do not do a thing.'
We must not only keep a sharp watch over our diet, but keep away from all other kinds of sin so that as our stomach keeps fast, so also may our tongue as we abstain from calumny, from deceit, from idle talk, from railing and anger and all other vices which arise from the tongue. So also let our eyes keep fast. No looking for trivialities, no letting the eyes wander freely, no impudent lying in wait for people to talk to. The same with the hands and feet, to prevent them from doing anything evil. Fasting in this way, as St. Basil says, is an acceptable fast and, leaving behind all the evil to which our senses are inclined, we may come to the holy day of Resurrection, renewed and clean and worthy to share in the Holy Mysteries.
We are told to draw the waters of life from the sources of the Divine Writings which alone can extinguish the passions that plague us and set us on the road to intellectual truth.
Nothing that happens to us is contrary to the will of Providence, and everything that is sent us by God is for our good and the salvation of our soul. Even if it does not seem helpful at the moment, we shall understand later on that it was willed so by God, and that it is not what we ourselves wish that is always useful to us. God sends trials out of his Mercy, so that after we have suffered, we may be crowned by Him. Without temptation it is impossible to receive a crown. This is why we should thank God for these sufferings, as out Benefactor and Savior.
A man who falls into sin is different from the way he was created. He is different, because he changes by his own actions the way he was meant to be. Man renounces himself when he becomes a different person through repentance. He leaves a corrupted man, which he had become through sin, and becomes such as he once was created, through mercy.
When your brother is disturbed and reacts to what you say to him, control your tongue lest you speak even one word in wrath and do not allow yourself to be arrogant concerning him in your heart but remember that he is your brother, a member of Christ and an image of God, influenced by the common enemy. Be merciful and show pity on him because it is possible that the devil through your wrath, will capture his soul and mortify it in resentment and thus, through your carelessness, the soul for whom Christ died is lost (1 Cor. 5:11).