You are, I am sure, aware that for you penitence is now no longer limited to disclosing your sins to your confessor, but that you must now bear your sins in mind always, until your heart nearly breaks with their ugly load; and would break, were it not for your firm faith in the mercy of our Lord.
When the flesh flourishes, the soul fades; when the flesh has full liberty, the soul is straitened; when the flesh is satiated, the soul hungers; when the flesh is adorned, the soul is deformed; when the flesh overflows with laughter, the soul is surrounded by misfortune; when the flesh is in the light, the soul is in darkness...
If you do not experience in yourself the influence of the evil spirit, you will not know and you will not value as you should the goodness shown to you by the benevolence of the Holy Spirit; not having known the spirit that destroys, you also will not know the Life-giving Spirit. Only because of contrary opposites of good and evil, of life and death, we understand one and the other... 'Glory to God, the Wise and All-Good, that He permits the spirit of evil and death to tempt us and cause us suffering. Otherwise, how could we begin to value the consolation of Grace, the consolation of the Holy Spirit, the Comforter and Life-giver!'
When praying, endeavor by every means to feel in your heart the truth and the power of the words of the prayer; feed yourself upon them as upon an imperishable food; water your heart with them as with a dew; and warm yourself by them as by means of a beneficial fire.
Nothing that happens to us is contrary to the will of Providence, and everything that is sent us by God is for our good and the salvation of our soul. Even if it does not seem helpful at the moment, we shall understand later on that it was willed so by God, and that it is not what we ourselves wish that is always useful to us. God sends trials out of his Mercy, so that after we have suffered, we may be crowned by Him. Without temptation it is impossible to receive a crown. This is why we should thank God for these sufferings, as out Benefactor and Savior.
'And forgive us our debts as we also forgive our debtors.' For we have many sins. For we offend both in word and in thought, and very many things we do worthy of condemnation; and 'if we say that we have no sin' (I Jn. 1:8), we lie, as John says...The offenses committed against us are slight and trivial, and easily settled; but those which we have committed against God are great, and need such mercy as His only is. Take heed, therefore, lest for the slight and trivial sins against you, you shut out for yourself forgiveness from God for your very grievous sins.
When you are praying alone, and your spirit is dejected, and you are wearied and oppressed by your loneliness, remember then, as always, that God the Trinity looks upon you with eyes brighter than the sun; also all the angels, your own Guardian Angel, and all the Saints of God. Truly they do; for they are all one in God, and where God is, there are they also. Where the sun is, thither also are directed all its rays. Try to understand what this means.
Let us avail ourselves of the example of that holy staretz who used to say: 'Depart, evil one; come, beloved!' Once a brother who overheard his words and supposed that the staretz was speaking to another man asked him 'With whom are you conversing, father?' And the staretz answered: 'I am driving away evil thoughts and calling the good ones to my side.' And so, if we are tempted, let us use the words of that staretz, or others like them.
Ask the angels and the saints to intercede for you, just as you'd ask people who are alive. Stand face to face with them, in the belief that they are also standing face to face with you.
The enemy constantly endeavors to awaken in the abyss of the human heart a great turmoil about trifles. This is one of his tricks to blind our soul to the sun of truth, Christ our Lord, hidden in the heart's core of every one of our neighbors.
How harmful is the praise of man! Even though a person may have done something worthy of praise, when he enjoys the sound of praise he is already deprived of future glory, according to teachings of the holy fathers.
Reverence with all the powers of your soul all the sacraments, and say to yourself in respect to every sacrament before the celebration or the communion of it: `This is God's mystery. I myself am only the unworthy witness or partaker of it.' Otherwise our proud intellect even wishes to search out God's mystery, and, if unable to penetrate it, rejects it as not coming under the small measure of our intellect.
The censer, with coal and incense, is a strong weapon in my hands. It is a symbol of blessing, strength and power, given to me by God, to further my prayer for all the people of the world, especially for the members of the holy, ecumenical, apostolic Church; it is a symbol of the ardent, fragrant grace of the Holy Spirit, breathing on all believers... it also stands for an image of the Holy Mother carrying in her womb the live coal of Divinity.
To what end do fasting and penitence lead? For what purpose is this trouble taken? They lead to the cleansing of the soul from sins, to peace of heart, to union with God; they fill us with devotion and sonship, and give us boldness before God.
